Tuesday, April 13, 2010

How I met CW

My mother use to say the best laid plans of mice and men. And I would say, WHAT? And now I know. This blog is about how you can make all the plans you want, but there will always be unforeseeable events that will slightly or even totally change the direction of your life. And before we go any further, no I don't have any terrible diseases, and no I haven't been in an accident that has kept me from being an Olympic gold medal winner. As if! No, but what has happened to me can't ever be completely changed. Though, Zoloft does makes it bearable most days if we both remember to take it. What happened is that my one and only child married a "crazy witch" hence forth CW.
Here is how I found out about CW. Four years ago I came home from a three week trip, I tip-toed into my son's room to give him a hug and there in the bed with him was a girl. I quietly left the room and asked my husband who in the hell was in the bed with our son and why was she in the bed with our son in our house. AND that was the first time I ever laid eyes on CW. The next morning I was introduced to her at breakfast and my son told me they were in love. She had about 8 earrings in each ear, a tongue ball thingy, a nose ring and something stuck through the skin under her lower lip. Thank the lord she had no tattoos. BUT she was dressed like I believe the term is a "hoochey mama".
Now let me add here that my son is a very nice young man and had just graduated from college. He had never brought a girl home and slept with her in our house to my knowledge, so all I could think was, "you have lost your damn mind and after you take that girl home I am going to hurt you!" I chatted with the girl a bit and quickly realized that she was looking for a "baby daddy" and that she was a bit of a fruit cake. My son took her home and then asked me what I thought of his girlfriend. I told him NOT to get her pregnant, things were moving too fast. NEEDLESS TO SAY HE DIDN'T LISTEN AND CW WAS PREGNANT WITH IN 6 WEEKS.

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